Tuesday, December 9, 2008

An Emotional Roller Coaster!

I haven't been keeping up with my blogging, and i've made a promise to myself to get back on it, so here I am!!

Last week I made a few self discoveries that have really helped with my image issues. I have realized that i'm actually a good person, and that I deserve to be happy. So, instead of sabatoging myself when i'm down, I am looking to find a healthy habit to replace the drug that, until recently, helped ease whatever emotional pain I was in...food. I'm going to start with walking for 10 minutes or however long it takes for the feeling to go away. Walking will let me sort out the problem, and I might still be upset without having found a solution, but at least I won't be turning to food.

With that said, I have been diligently following the clean diet and have been continuing with my exercise regime. I actually love exercising. The fabulous feeling I get afterwards is something I always look forward to.

This past weekend was a girl's weekend with my friends Nancy, Andrea, Laura and Trina. These girls have known me since I was 14, and they have all known each other since grade school. The weekend usually involves copious amounts of food and alcohol. I promised myself not to have more than two glasses of wine, and I actually stuck to that promise. The red wine was one that I had never tasted before, and it was delicious. After the second glass, I was feeling more than a little tipsy, and there was a moment where I really wanted a third glass. Nancy promised to look out for me, and even said that she would drink the rest of the bottle, so I wouldn't have the third glass! But something inside me kept saying "no" to the third glass, and i'm pretty sure I heard Tosca yelling at me, saying she would kick my butt if I did.

The food was delicious. Nancy made a wonderful spread. She showed us how to take rice paper, put it in hot water to make it soft, and then use it as a wrap. I had chicken, and all sorts of veggies in mine...with hot sauce. It was wonderful!! And so easy to do!

The next day Andrea and Trina left early as they had family duties to get back to. Nancy, Laura and I had a light breakfast and we decided to head to the cemetary to have a visit with Laura's mom and my dad. I haven't been back to the cemetary since we had the burial ceremony. That was over 10 years ago. I was afraid that it would be to hard, and I didn't want to deal with those feelings. But i'm so glad that I went. I feel like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I wish I did it years ago. I will go as often as I can, and I will take the kids the next time I go.

All in all, it was a very good week. Emotionally draining, but we all need to have weeks like this to regroup with our inner beings.

Cheers to all who come across this!


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